I like to write...and because I can probably never land a deal to write any books to be given out to human beings, why not write my stories through my blogs?! It's kinda like....a TV series. Every week there's a new episode, well, every now and then I'll write a new parts of my story and you all can keep up with them. So it's kinda like in addition to my whacky blogs, you'll be able to follow along to my never ending story. I'll try to think of the main plot of my story later, but I'm still figuring out this story thing out. I think it'll be interesting

A few hours ago I spent 20 minutes giving Hassan a thorough 101 lesson on how to put on contacts. Thank god it had nothing to do with cell phones (contacts!), god forbid Hassan meets girls whilst holding one. Not a good equation. He got his first pair of contacts today and already his eye is taking a bad beating. Hassan was so excited to be putting on his first contacts he got up at 6:30 am to do so, waking up an hour and a half earlier then he usually does. That's dedication right there. The kid doesn't even wake up to go to school when he's supposed to, but he will get up early to clear himself from the glasses he doesn't even wear at school. Well gosh he doesn't want to be a nerd!! He's just not a Harry Potter character, glasses for men usually don't work unless they're gucci and are made of diamonds.

I'm surprised of how Hassan got those things in his eyes in the first place. I don't even want to know. He probably blew out the electricity in the process and knocked out two old men unconcious as he threw out his contact lens case in a rage of fit outside. I know this is a possibility.

So while teaching Hassan, I learned 3 things:

a) he's an idiot
b) he gets irritated fast (shocker!)
c) he does not know his angles

To even show him how easy it was to take out his lenses, I demonstrated. About 3 times. Everytime the contact lens was at a crease between my fingertips he would give out an "OOOOO" and an "AHHHH". I felt like some sort of magician. I almost felt special. Like OMGG LOOK WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY FINGERS AND PIECES OF PLASTIC INSIDE MY EYE!!!

I guess it's just another thing I can do, that he can't. I add this to the list under "proper brain usage".

Then I told Hassan to try it. Of course I stood back first, then I gave him clear directions: Look straight, hold up your eyelids (I don't do this but he's a n00b so he has too) and PINCH the contact gently. For some reason, he looks down, pulls down his lower eye lid and then squirms around like he's in a Lil Wayne music video and forcefully pinches THE AIR and then happily looks to see if he got it. Oh darn, he's got nothing. Then he goes wild.

Hassan took his anger out on the nearby mirror. I'm not sure why he did this, but I reminded him that punching the mirror wouldn't magically remove the contact. I mean it might cause the mirror to topple over us, possibly killing me and sending him to the hospital, and maybe then the paramedics would notice the contact lens and remove it for him, but there was really a small chance of that happening. If the paramedics were cute in this event and I was still dead, damnit, that would suck

Hassan looked at me with the "OMG IM SMART THIS SHOULD WORK FOR ME BUT ITS NOT" look, and I just laughed inside. The "oh I totally know for sure now he was raised by angry geese and dropped off on the doorstep by a mob of ants" laugh. I just got sick of poking at my eye all day for this kid, who obviously wasn't going to get it any time soon, so I just had him hold his eyelids up and I took it out for him.

Yes, my hands were nicely washed. We have soap, you know.

Great, I didn't even get to the foreign part of my blog yet. I have pictures, too! Well, I suppose I can wait til tomorrow to set up that blog. All nice and pretty~

Amy read my recent blog about the deletion (word?!) of my MYSQL base and said that she could look in her database to see if she could get any recent version of my mysql. That means I MIGHT HAVE SOME HOPE in getting back my old blogs! Ahhhhh!!! I just hope somewhere deep in that silly system of codes there's a recent backup of my database. Fingers crossed!

I have a really cool blog about foreign places coming up. Just wait til I clean out my closet, okay?! I babysat for about 7 hours today (don't ask, I didn't have much of a choice yes I am clearly an idiot) and I'm soooo tired. I'll tell you more about that later. Boy do I have some stories to tell.

But yes, closet first, updates and blog later. Please request something specific, I'm running out of things to make. My head hurts. At least the creative side, anywho.

For this swimchick competition, you must use this picture and make something interesting! Stick her on the moon, make her face blue, the sky is the limit!

There are really no rules, just keep it appropriate.
Make sure your name is on your entry.

Deadline for this competition is May 30th.
Winner gets 1 month of free advertising. Post the URL to your entry on THIS BLOG and this blog ONLY. Give a few sentences telling us what you've done with the picture and why and you're all set! Please make sure to check back to my blogs to see any further updates. It is your responsibility to keep up with this competition!

So now that you know what to do, go give Mel a makeover! (She knows all about this competition, and she will be deciding the winner!)

I added some new stocks. I seem to use them a lot so I needed some more options to choose from!

( to the stocks! )

Alright so I'm also in the process of adding new sections to the site. I'm tired of updating the same old sections, and I want to add and update new sections. Does anyone have any ideas on future content for swimchick? Lemme know!

The old texture section on the new texture page will be deleted today. Just letting you know!

So you all know my deal with batman, the flash, superman and the bunch. It's hard to fit in with these guys wearing blue jeans and hollister sweaters.

Now it's YOUR TURN to help me with my newest problem......a super hero outfit!

Yes folks, it's up to you to create a swimchick superhero outfit! Now I know some of you guys don't have all these fancy supplies and probably don't know how to use that darn sewing machine. Instead of sewing and putting together an outfit (which you can do if you're THAT advanced and really want to) you can wear different articles of clothing, halloween costumes, toys.... and make it all look cohesive. Try on different clothes, use something as a cape, tie it around your face - I don't care - just get creative!

For this contest you must provide a picture of your superhero outfit.

Here are the rules:
1) NO destroying your house in this process. Please??!
2) Your outfit must include the words SWIMCHICK somewhere. It must be clearly visible in the picture. You may put up a sign and stick it to yourself if that's easier.
3) Your outfit must have a mask, a cape, shoes AND gloves.
4) You Superhero must have a name. Make sure you write it on your picture when you submit it.
5) You have to describe the purpose of your superhero. What does he do?! (you can include this in a few lines seperately when turning in your picture in the comment section)
5) NO STEALING CURRENT SUPERHERO IDEAS. Don't be rippin off batman and superman you guys!!

Deadline for this contest is May 30th
Winner gets 2 months free advertising.

To enter the contest, simply comment with the URL of your picture and a few lines describing it. Please only post entries on THIS blog. If you post your entry on another blog - it will not count. You are only allowed one entry, so make it count!

But no, I had a different mentality:
*goes to MYSQL*
OMG 83 PERCENT MB WHATTT THIS THING HAS BEEN WASTING MY SPACE -delete-

*goes to homepage*

HOLY CRAP WHAT DID I DO AHHHH COME BACK!!!! NOOO!!!!!

It's alright, though. I'm going to hopefully learn from this and never utilize the delete button ever again. Cept when I'm pretending to erase Sam from my life by deleting and vandalizing her picture online, giving her an online mustache and goatee using the brush tool in photoshop. Then yea, the delete button is my friend.

Uhhh that's right, SWIMCHICK COMPETITION. I mentioned that, yes? No!?
This competition will be written out in a few hours (I need to finish loans for school first, yea education comes first big LOL right there~) so check back in a few to see the new swimchick competition TO WIN FREE ADVERTISINGGG and maybe a free layout.

Alright well, off to do these loans. So many numbers. I also might switch to wordpress because I'm not digging this whole fanupdate thing. Too many holes in the system - and yea it works good but I need more OPTIONS than this. That's one thing wordpress has that fanupdate doesn't.

How was I supposed to know about this stupid mysql junk?! I never took it seriously Ughhh...I have to customize everything. This might take a while.

*cries*

edit someone please kill me now *cries*

edit again i have no idea what i'm doing but it looks like it's...working! no i lied i suck more than i did 5 minutes ago. wow that's major suckyness. a level i've never reached before. go me!!

10 minutes later wow. alright so im officially an idiot for deleting that mysql whatever. you know what the hell what does that even stand for?! DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? MYSQL? say that out loud guys. GO ON!!! EXACTLY CUZ YOU CANT

ITS NONSENSICAL. I'm so upset. I lost all those precious blogs of jesus doing the soulja boy and how annoying Sam and Mel are and how there's never any toilet paper in the bathroom. How will I ever recover from this? *sniff*

I know what will make me feel better, a SWIMCHICK COMPETITION. Just wait til the morning, alright? Technically it's already the 12th since it's 2:00 AM (yea I've been fixing up all the damage I've done for 2 hours now). So just wait a few hours....uh...til I wake up.

I almost forgot that I'm supposed to be pissed. Right. ARRR!!!

Check out this video of my baby cousin Hussein. It's freakin hilarious. Or at least I think so.

Life has been pretty okay. Sure Ali still hides in the cracks of the kitchen and scares the crap out of me, Lisa still thinks a Christina Aguilera tune comes out when she opens her mouth, and Hassan still doesn't know how to properly hug someone without busting one of their veins. But stuff like that is supposed to happen. One day if I came home and Hassan, Ali, Sam, Mel and Lisa were all having a discussion about pollution or even how nice the trees outside looked, well, I think I'd die.

Sam and Mel slept over their friends on Sunday, so it was all lonely and junk. For once I missed Sam yelling at me about how much I suck cause I can't organize clothing radius and because I didn't put Mels' shirt back in the right 'color section'. Stuff like that gets to me. *tear*

So so let me catch ya'll up.

On Friday I went bowling twice...yesss! TWICE! TWICE THE SWOLLEN FINGERS AND EMBARRASSING SCORES! WOO.
I first went out to eat with Zeinab, Batoul, Houda and Hanadi. Then we all decided to go bowling. At first I thought my score was pretty decent. I thought I was actually GOOD. I was pulling a Tom Cruise on Oprahs couch there where I get all WOOOooOOooo go me IM WINNING IM ON TOP. Watch out Tiger Woods!

So anyway I go back home and Mel picks me up and I go with her and some friends bowling again. At the same place. The guy at the counter was staring me down as I asked him for a pair 7 shoes. Maybe it's because I had to ask around what size I wear? Like "hey Mel do I wear size 50?"

I mean no one said I had to know this stuff.... I can't even memorize my own cell number. You guys want me to be measuring my feet every 5 minutes?! What if they magically grow huh? Guess I ain't no size 50 anymore.

So because the man is so nice he gave me a size 6 in mens. I don't know what that's supposed to mean but I know deep in my heart I'm a real woman and I wear girly shoes and girly things girls wear. :frown: Like boxers.

I begin bowling first as "Tiny Turkey" (that's my nickname! ). I'm thinking in my head,
OH MANN IM SO GONNA WIN I JUST BOWLED I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS

But no. I bowled and I got a gutter ball.
Then another one.

AND ANOTHER.
LIKE WHAT THE HELL!?!??!
I'm pretty sure I prayed. But I'm not sure I included bowling in my prayer....but still God has to know when to give me magical bowling powers. Otherwise I'll SUCK like everyone else. :frown:

And well, I did.
Everytime someone was looking at the score I'd be like OH TINY TURKEY HA WOAHHH THEY SUCK HAHAHAHA.

Until tiny turkey was up and people were calling me to bowl. :frown: How embarrassing. Seriously bowling is HARD STUFF. It's not just throwing a really heavy piece of marble down wood or whatever. It's like...SKILL!

Then I noticed that the last time I played, our lane had safeties on them. Or whatever they're called. They bounce the ball back once it hits the gutter so you hardly get any gutter balls. So yea, that's the reason why I was so great. I blame Jesus. If he would've just prayed instead of doing the Soulja Boy I bet you I wouldn't be in the position where I wanted to hurl the bowling ball at the score board.

On Saturday I went out for Lamees's birthday. We went out to eat then watched Enchanted. Now that would've been nice if I actually knew the damn cast. Throughout the entire movie I was yelling out,
PATRICK DEMPSEY IS SOOO HOTTT!!! OMG HES SO HOTT

Then I found out the guy who I thought was Patrick was not actually Patrick but James Mardsen. I'm a horrible fan. :frown: But he was still hott (James).

Site Wise
Please check the updates link on the bar under the blog header to see any current updates. I removed the top bar for now because everything looks alittle..."out there".

Also I will be updating throughout the day yet again. Request again if you'd like. I know a lot of people want some new tutorials....so maybe I'll get around to doing those. :mwah: But yea, from now on check THAT LINK!!

Check out this video of my baby cousin Hussein. It's freakin hilarious. Or at least I think so.

Life has been pretty okay. Sure Ali still hides in the cracks of the kitchen and scares the crap out of me, Lisa still thinks a Christina Aguilera tune comes out when she opens her mouth, and Hassan still doesn't know how to properly hug someone without busting one of their veins. But stuff like that is supposed to happen. One day if I came home and Hassan, Ali, Sam, Mel and Lisa were all having a discussion about pollution or even how nice the trees outside looked, well, I think I'd die.

Sam and Mel slept over their friends on Sunday, so it was all lonely and junk. For once I missed Sam yelling at me about how much I suck cause I can't organize clothing radius and because I didn't put Mels' shirt back in the right 'color section'. Stuff like that gets to me. *tear*

So so let me catch ya'll up.

On Friday I went bowling twice...yesss! TWICE! TWICE THE SWOLLEN FINGERS AND EMBARRASSING SCORES! WOO.
I first went out to eat with Zeinab, Batoul, Houda and Hanadi. Then we all decided to go bowling. At first I thought my score was pretty decent. I thought I was actually GOOD. I was pulling a Tom Cruise on Oprahs couch there where I get all WOOOooOOooo go me IM WINNING IM ON TOP. Watch out Tiger Woods!

So anyway I go back home and Mel picks me up and I go with her and some friends bowling again. At the same place. The guy at the counter was staring me down as I asked him for a pair 7 shoes. Maybe it's because I had to ask around what size I wear? Like "hey Mel do I wear size 50?"

I mean no one said I had to know this stuff.... I can't even memorize my own cell number. You guys want me to be measuring my feet every 5 minutes?! What if they magically grow huh? Guess I ain't no size 50 anymore.

So because the man is so nice he gave me a size 6 in mens. I don't know what that's supposed to mean but I know deep in my heart I'm a real woman and I wear girly shoes and girly things girls wear. :frown: Like boxers.

I begin bowling first as "Tiny Turkey" (that's my nickname! ). I'm thinking in my head,
OH MANN IM SO GONNA WIN I JUST BOWLED I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS

But no. I bowled and I got a gutter ball.
Then another one.

AND ANOTHER.
LIKE WHAT THE HELL!?!??!
I'm pretty sure I prayed. But I'm not sure I included bowling in my prayer....but still God has to know when to give me magical bowling powers. Otherwise I'll SUCK like everyone else. :frown:

And well, I did.
Everytime someone was looking at the score I'd be like OH TINY TURKEY HA WOAHHH THEY SUCK HAHAHAHA.

Until tiny turkey was up and people were calling me to bowl. :frown: How embarrassing. Seriously bowling is HARD STUFF. It's not just throwing a really heavy piece of marble down wood or whatever. It's like...SKILL!

Then I noticed that the last time I played, our lane had safeties on them. Or whatever they're called. They bounce the ball back once it hits the gutter so you hardly get any gutter balls. So yea, that's the reason why I was so great. I blame Jesus. If he would've just prayed instead of doing the Soulja Boy I bet you I wouldn't be in the position where I wanted to hurl the bowling ball at the score board.

On Saturday I went out for Lamees's birthday. We went out to eat then watched Enchanted. Now that would've been nice if I actually knew the damn cast. Throughout the entire movie I was yelling out,
PATRICK DEMPSEY IS SOOO HOTTT!!! OMG HES SO HOTT

Then I found out the guy who I thought was Patrick was not actually Patrick but James Mardsen. I'm a horrible fan. :frown: But he was still hott (James).

Site Wise
Please check the updates link on the bar under the blog header to see any current updates. I removed the top bar for now because everything looks alittle..."out there".

Also I will be updating throughout the day yet again. Request again if you'd like. I know a lot of people want some new tutorials....so maybe I'll get around to doing those. :mwah: But yea, from now on check THAT LINK!!

After a few days of running around going out and just being a legal seaweed, I'm back home. On my couch. AND IMMA STAY HERE.

FOREVEr.
IM NEVER LEAVING THIS COUCh. NEVRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! IM TAPING MYSELF TO THE SIDES AND THEN ....I DONT KNOW BUT IT'LL BE VERY TECHNOLOGICAL AND SMART AND WONT INVOLVE BARBWIRE UNLESS IM DESPERATE.
i got a slice of pizza that my mommy made, some half empty water bottles, my mascara which is clinque by the way and AWESOMEEE~ uhhh some snickers wrappers...a couple of papers from my research paper I will NOT BE DOING some kinda gamecube controller which I don't know what the hell it's doing here and my purse.

WOOooooooooo IM SET FOR LIFEBABY.

I just hope I can hold in my bladder cause I gotta pee LOL.
Anyway uhhh I made some new videos check them out
this one
and this

sorry this blog is alittle crazy but my days have jsut been sooooooooo hectic and im incredibly tired...this is what happens when you....you...HAVE...A LIFe.......AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hope that doesn't happen again anytime soon. I miss this couch and refilling the toilet paper for the bathroom every so often.

anyway ill let you guys know about my little field trip i had today- tomorrow cause im really tired and want to just bask in my fatness cause i ate 3 slices of pizza. yayy

k later seaweeds love ya'll

No turkey included either. Sadly we didn't have a family kinda thanksgiving...that's what happens when half your family is in Lebanon and the other half is lost in space around the world.

So yea, for all you guys that didn't spend thanksgiving with your familia, don't worry, you're not alone! :mwah:

Many of you are still wondering what happened with Kat.

To make a long story short, she just disappeared for about 2-3 weeks...
but she was on myspace every other day... :smug: It's kinda weird since she was on almost everyday. Then she just stopped coming on.

She didn't even send me a message to let me know she couldn't be on or that she was busy. OR SOMETHING. That was just really messed up. Seriously she couldn't take 2 minutes of her time that she spends on myspace everyday commenting and all that other BS to send me a message.
THNX.

So 2 days ago I got real fed up and sent her a message on myspace saying...
"Since you're always on this thing and not so much AIM, I just thought I'd let you know here.
I think it's better if I run SC on my own again. You haven't really been on to help out much, and I don't think this could work.

You could've at least taken 5 minutes of your time to message me and let me know you can't update or be on for a while. You just disappear.

Anyway, have a nice day.
- Jess"

She replied (first time ever eh)
"Alright, and actually I'm just spending more time doing things offline. So yeah, it's for the best. Bye~"

BYEEE(*!(@!~~~~~~
~~~~~
~~~~~~

Lol this is just another reminder that online friends aren't forever.
And most of them suck. But I'm glad that I finally notice this now because now I don't have to waste my time.
Oh and one time I commented on Kat's myspace once and she deleted my comment because she didn't want her "real" friends finding out about me or her site apparently.
REAL FRIENDSHIP RIGHT THERE!!!
(sarcasm)

Ya that's the story. Wooo.

And to you guys out there on the webscene, please don't get too caught up in online friends. I've had so many "true friends" that I thought were all cool but things change. Alot.

I've learned my lesson.

No turkey included either. Sadly we didn't have a family kinda thanksgiving...that's what happens when half your family is in Lebanon and the other half is lost in space around the world.

So yea, for all you guys that didn't spend thanksgiving with your familia, don't worry, you're not alone! :mwah:

Many of you are still wondering what happened with Kat.

To make a long story short, she just disappeared for about 2-3 weeks...
but she was on myspace every other day... :smug: It's kinda weird since she was on almost everyday. Then she just stopped coming on.

She didn't even send me a message to let me know she couldn't be on or that she was busy. OR SOMETHING. That was just really messed up. Seriously she couldn't take 2 minutes of her time that she spends on myspace everyday commenting and all that other BS to send me a message.
THNX.

So 2 days ago I got real fed up and sent her a message on myspace saying...
"Since you're always on this thing and not so much AIM, I just thought I'd let you know here.
I think it's better if I run SC on my own again. You haven't really been on to help out much, and I don't think this could work.

You could've at least taken 5 minutes of your time to message me and let me know you can't update or be on for a while. You just disappear.

Anyway, have a nice day.
- Jess"

She replied (first time ever eh)
"Alright, and actually I'm just spending more time doing things offline. So yeah, it's for the best. Bye~"

BYEEE(*!(@!~~~~~~
~~~~~
~~~~~~

Lol this is just another reminder that online friends aren't forever.
And most of them suck. But I'm glad that I finally notice this now because now I don't have to waste my time.
Oh and one time I commented on Kat's myspace once and she deleted my comment because she didn't want her "real" friends finding out about me or her site apparently.
REAL FRIENDSHIP RIGHT THERE!!!
(sarcasm)

Ya that's the story. Wooo.

And to you guys out there on the webscene, please don't get too caught up in online friends. I've had so many "true friends" that I thought were all cool but things change. Alot.

I've learned my lesson.

Because I'm a legal alien of the Unnighted States of America and I appreciate the Pilgrims that wore dresses and baked animals at the same time, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving. Though I will not be eating Turkey.
I'm hitting up some chicken.

Woooo!

Nah JK.
Because my cousin (yes the one who scared me by magically appearing on my couch) is really smart, he decided to have his engagement on Thanksgiving. So claps for him.
I bet they're going to have their wedding on Christmas. And then maybe their 50 baby showers on Easter which I won't attend because babies are evil. Or maybe I think this because I watched Shrek 3 last night and I got nightmares on the part where Shrek is dreaming and Donkeys face is the baby. :frown:

That got me.
Well have a happy and wonderful thanksgiving and please don't overstuff yourself or burn your house down. Unless it's not your house, then who cares.

But yea, while you're stuffing your face with turkey legs think of me. I'll be sitting across from whom I believe is Jason X chowing down on a bucket of KFC at the engagement while a bunch of old people are dancing and causing injuries to the young with their canes and motor scooters that have 50000 horse power. Won't that be fun?

:love:
Oh and for the Kat thing...uhh...I'll probably mention some things next blog. Maybe. :smug:

Because I'm a legal alien of the Unnighted States of America and I appreciate the Pilgrims that wore dresses and baked animals at the same time, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving. Though I will not be eating Turkey.
I'm hitting up some chicken.

Woooo!

Nah JK.
Because my cousin (yes the one who scared me by magically appearing on my couch) is really smart, he decided to have his engagement on Thanksgiving. So claps for him.
I bet they're going to have their wedding on Christmas. And then maybe their 50 baby showers on Easter which I won't attend because babies are evil. Or maybe I think this because I watched Shrek 3 last night and I got nightmares on the part where Shrek is dreaming and Donkeys face is the baby. :frown:

That got me.
Well have a happy and wonderful thanksgiving and please don't overstuff yourself or burn your house down. Unless it's not your house, then who cares.

But yea, while you're stuffing your face with turkey legs think of me. I'll be sitting across from whom I believe is Jason X chowing down on a bucket of KFC at the engagement while a bunch of old people are dancing and causing injuries to the young with their canes and motor scooters that have 50000 horse power. Won't that be fun?

:love:
Oh and for the Kat thing...uhh...I'll probably mention some things next blog. Maybe. :smug:

Oh and might as well let you guys know now then leave ya'll hanging.
I'm running swimchick on my own again.

Like I've always been.....

Back to blog:
Tomorrow is my cousin's engagement. I'd consider it special, but then I'd lie and go to hell. Or end up...like Pinocchio. A SKELETON! Does anyone know where he lives? Pinocchio, I mean. I have to get his advice on boobytrapping Sam's bed.

Santa tells me it's not safe for human beans like me to end up there (in hellyville) because I'm special and special people go to DOLLYWOOD!! Besides hell is clogged with people like Sam and Paris Hilton and who wants to be around them when you're melting?!?!?!

I'm sure I shouldn't take Santa's advice because he lied to me 17 years in a row. So for sure he isn't getting to heaven! Unless he bribes Jesus with some kind of...DEVICE. Probably a bratz doll. Damn he's genius.

I asked for a tamagotchi last christmas and all I got were nike socks. And a box of oxygen. At least that's what my mom said it was. I could've sworn my dad used that box yesterday to package meat...

He could've at least sent me coal to show he cared.

Anyway I'm unsure about the engagement thing, but I have to go. If I don't I'll probably end up buried alive in my own clothes.

Butttt! this will be another opportunity for me to bother random people and speak to them in what I believe is Chinese, but is actually gibberish.

Oh and I have a feeling old people like me.

We were at Walmart yesterday cause all the cool kids go there...and I see this little old lady on her scooter thing staring at some items on the shelves. She was like eyeing down this can of campbells soup. She was about to knock it out or something. I was wondering if she could reach it or not.

Being the nice human bean that I am, I asked,
Hello, do you need help getting anything?

And in old people language, she replied with,
I beg your pardon?

I repeated myself.
Do you need me to get you anything?

She said no.
As I was walking away she said,
But thank you very much!

See! I AM NICE. AND YES I WOULD LIKE COOKIES.
and milk.
My award should be sent to 1000 MATT DAMON'S HOUSE somewhere in America.

Oh and might as well let you guys know now then leave ya'll hanging.
I'm running swimchick on my own again.

Like I've always been.....

Back to blog:
Tomorrow is my cousin's engagement. I'd consider it special, but then I'd lie and go to hell. Or end up...like Pinocchio. A SKELETON! Does anyone know where he lives? Pinocchio, I mean. I have to get his advice on boobytrapping Sam's bed.

Santa tells me it's not safe for human beans like me to end up there (in hellyville) because I'm special and special people go to DOLLYWOOD!! Besides hell is clogged with people like Sam and Paris Hilton and who wants to be around them when you're melting?!?!?!

I'm sure I shouldn't take Santa's advice because he lied to me 17 years in a row. So for sure he isn't getting to heaven! Unless he bribes Jesus with some kind of...DEVICE. Probably a bratz doll. Damn he's genius.

I asked for a tamagotchi last christmas and all I got were nike socks. And a box of oxygen. At least that's what my mom said it was. I could've sworn my dad used that box yesterday to package meat...

He could've at least sent me coal to show he cared.

Anyway I'm unsure about the engagement thing, but I have to go. If I don't I'll probably end up buried alive in my own clothes.

Butttt! this will be another opportunity for me to bother random people and speak to them in what I believe is Chinese, but is actually gibberish.

Oh and I have a feeling old people like me.

We were at Walmart yesterday cause all the cool kids go there...and I see this little old lady on her scooter thing staring at some items on the shelves. She was like eyeing down this can of campbells soup. She was about to knock it out or something. I was wondering if she could reach it or not.

Being the nice human bean that I am, I asked,
Hello, do you need help getting anything?

And in old people language, she replied with,
I beg your pardon?

I repeated myself.
Do you need me to get you anything?

She said no.
As I was walking away she said,
But thank you very much!

See! I AM NICE. AND YES I WOULD LIKE COOKIES.
and milk.
My award should be sent to 1000 MATT DAMON'S HOUSE somewhere in America.

Brb for now.
request stuff?

Brb for now.
request stuff?

Know what I've noticed online? People who convinced that they're something big.

Bullying. Oooo.

You're so cool.
You really are.

A few years ago, maybe I would've taken it. But I'm 18 now. I'm an adult. I may not act like one 24/7, but I am. You might have gotten to me when I was 13, 14, 15, 16...17?

I've been under scrutiny for SO LONG. Ever since I was young people have been picking at me. I've been under constant pressure to be perfect, polite, not say anything wrong....be nice to these random strangers that are supposidly 'better than me' or 'know more than I do'. To take in their advice and try to become what they want me to be. If I talked back or disagreed, I was deemed rude. Snobby.

They're not there to help, they're there to make themselves look good.
Let's take out Jess, everyone knows her.... I'll look so good if I rip her apart. I'll look so superior because I can stand up to her.

I don't take anything from anyone, especially online. To complete strangers who have no idea who I am. Or who are convinced that they got me down. Think they know who I am and how I work.

I'm not scared

of anyone online.

Intimidation doesn't work.
Swearing? Go ahead.
Wanna pick at my pictures? Have fun.
Get your friends after me. Can't handle me yourself?
I have no talent? I got pretty far for someone with "no talent". ;)

Just know, you can hate on me all you want. It does nothing anymore. It might've shattered some parts of my spirit back in the day, but things are different now. Very different. It only gives me motivation to work harder...become better at what I'm doing.
You may think you're better than I am. But you're not.

And that goes for anyone else online. Whether I know you or not.

Don't stand for those who are rude, bully, act superior, etc. DON'T LET PEOPLE WALK OVER YOU.

HAVE AN OPINION. BE YOURSELF.
I don't GET IT. When I'm on MBs or chatrooms and I see the most obnoxious people posting obscene things, I'm shocked to see no one says anything. Or when someone is picking on someone else. Everyone just sits back and watches. They're so deeply amused. They don't want to get caught up in the fight. Don't want those people to hate them. Right? You've probably been in this situation.

I've been in the situation where I'm being insulted or in a fight, and my "friends" (LOLL) are RIGHT THERE and don't say anything. Or they do say something, but it's so overly sugarcoated like...
"Well jess wasn't trying to be mean and im not trying to start a fight but yea i think we should just stop..."

But on a MSN messenger, they have something completely different to say. They just don't have the guts to say it.

Quit being sheep. Stop following the herd. If you have to pretend to agree with someone and constantly be nice to them when you don't want to be so they'll accept you, they aren't worth your time.
Don't be afraid to say what you feel. You're never going to meet these people. They can't do anything to you. ;) The things they type are simply words. They might hurt you.

Might.
But don't let that bring you down. Not for a second.

I swear I've been through so much crap but I've never given up. Nothing and no one is going to stop me from doing what I love.

I also feel sorry for those who think they're awesome (LMAOo you so cool) because they win some kind of stupid argument in a chat room or an MB. Because they insulted you and amused everyone. Because everyone agreed with them.
The only thing they've won, is my PITY.

PITY because it looks like the only thing they're good at is bullying and picking on people.
PITY because their life must suck so much they have to pick on people to make themselves feel better.
PITY because they think what they're doing is justified and cool, even at 22 (whatever a random number haha) years of age.

Hhahah I love blogging all my feelings...woww that sounds like something off the notebook.

But yea.
Sorrryyy but I ain't scared. Yes. AINT. O IMPROPER SENTENCE. Call the popo!

"GOOD MEN STAY SILENT FOR EVIL MEN TO PROSPER"
(LOL not really men...but uh...people)

I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

Conclusion:
Get off that damn throne of yours.