Dramaqueen over a chair

posted August 25

I was ready to break my fast, sitting next to my Mom and getting bread ready for my delicious lentil soup this Tuesday evening, when my brother comes waltzing down the stairs 5 minutes late for iftar.

He comes up to me in his sloppy demeanor and says,
“GET OUT OF MY SEAT“

Oh boy, do I love the seat game. I used to play this one when I was in preschool. You know when someone stole my spot on the 30 foot long carpet. Don’t even ask me how I know it was my spot, I just kinda had an instinct like that when I was 3 years old.

Anyway, Ali comes at me all like OMGGG GET OUTTA MAH SEAT standing like he just shot someone in an ally. I’m over there eating my fattoush peacefully, trying to ignore this animalistic human body when my mother chimes in,
“Hey, move. You know that’s his seat.“

Then we began. It was a battle of the seats. Ali disregarded the fact that there were two open spots open about 3 steps away from where he was standing. He wanted ‘his seat’. I guess I wasn’t alive when these things were assigned. I don’t remember having assigned seats on our family dinner table. How silly of me to think that Ali would sit on the end of the table, instead of the first spot. You can’t expect someone of Ali’s caliber to walk that many centimeters to sit in another chair, it’s ludicrous. With his 1.5 GPA in high school, inability to crack open a book that doesn’t have cartoons in it and his entrance into community college to pursue a career that he knows nothing about (that is out of his damn league…he might as well study to be a superhero he has a better chance at it)….he should be sitting on the roof in a golden, diamond encrusted chamber.

LISTEN UP BUDDY. IN THIS WORLD It’s first come, first served. It’s stupid to say someone has a seat or someone has a SPOT. It doesn’t matter where you sit to eat. Just be happy you have a meal and quit being a rotten brat about everything. Where I’m sitting is no different than where you are sitting 2 inches away. The only reason I didn’t move is because I sat there first. Ali expects us to bend to his every command, and on top of that he took his time coming down thinking that no one would dare sit there. The ‘assigned seats’ for the boys are the first two seats of the table, but the girls kinda just sit anywhere. Funny thing, the girls don’t have ‘assigned seats’. Just the guys? Love it.

I cannot tell you how frustrating it is when people are defending something so ridiculous.
Obviously my Mom would rather keep her cool with Ali than me. She then continued and told him to get another chair from the room so he can sit next to her. He said,
“NO. I WANNA SIT THERE. YOU KNEW I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING SO JUST MOVE.”

How silly of me to forget that this my brothers seat. I must leave it open at all times, even when Ali is not there to sit in it. God forbid someone change his chair too. That would be bad.

After 5 minutes of arguing back and forth and trying to convince my Mom she is arguing the most ridiculous case, I just took my plate and went downstairs. I would rather not eat at all than eat with these kind of people. You might think I would be so mad and enraged, but nah, it’s cool. I like when these things happen because they show someones’ true colors. Their real intentions.

To make things even better, Lisa comes downstairs where I was watching TV after just witnessing what just happened and asked me,
“WHY DIDNT YOU HELP?“

I was like O HELL NAW~ this girl is not asking me why I didn’t help them CLEAN the table after they just kicked me off. She was like OMG YOU DIDNT HAVE TO BE SUCH A DRAMAQUEEN U COUDA JUST SAT IN THE OTHER SPOT U NEVER HELP US CLEAN UR USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE~

LOL yeah Lisa. You are so freakin’ smart. I intentionally sat in Ali’s spot so I could go downstairs in a fit of annoyance after not eating or drinking ALL DAY so that I could get out of doing dishes and washing a table. Lisa then throws in the ‘dramaqueen’ bit because she knows all too much about being a dramaqueen. This is coming from the 15 year old who throws ‘cliche’ and ‘influence’ around like it compensates for her lack of intelligence about pretty much everything.

And there you have it folks. Another perfect dinner at my resort. But then again, this is why I’m going to subway in a few hours. Ha ha haha.

5 comments | pissed