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swimchick.net » Blogs » i wanna go back in time

i wanna go back in time

posted November 24

I don’t know where to start with this site.
I’m confused and I’m very unmotivated. I have not made a graphic for a while. And to add onto it, I hate school now.
School is making me become into this….cookie cutter designer with bad taste.

But it’s a good thing I’m making brownies so there will be no cookie cutting for me. Okay I’m not actually making brownies but you know…cookie cutting…brownies? Yeah.

I suppose it’s time for me to tell you about the wedding I was a photographer at. It’s strange, being instructed for such a thing. On top of having to take the pictures, I had to be an art director. The weather was also very cold and the bride (my friend) was already freezing, she couldn’t stay outside for too long. But all in all, the pictures came out fantastic.

Bad news, though. Since she was not wearing her scarf, I cannot show the pictures. Only girls can see them, and since there are boys on the interwebs, it leaves me no choice but to continue on my portfolio without them. I’m kinda mad because I really wanted some pictures to use in my portfolio, but I know I can get more shots in the future. I think I can get somewhere with this for now….
Although I must say photography is not my first love, if I could go back and time and change anything, I think I would have loved to take up video/directing/producing. Video collages are so fun to make and I love to direct. I find myself being better at that.

I used a canon g9 to take the pictures because unfortunately I had no access to an SLR. Funny thing because I have friends who are photography majors, but I didn’t bother asking because no one at this school believes in being nice like that. I got sooo pissed when I asked to use the video camera that I shot this video for a film festival with and my friend turned me down. Seriously???

I took time out of my day to shoot this video for my friends when I didn’t even HAVE to, edit it in under 2 days for a film festival and THEN after I showed everyone it they were all loving it in front of me – but I found out a few days later that they never submitted the video because they didn’t like the way they were ‘portrayed’. No one even bothered to tell me, I found out way later from another friend who assumed I already knew. OHHH OK so let me get this straight – YOU don’t like the way YOU acted and were portrayed in a video that was character based on YOURSELF using the script YOU wrote.

What a bunch of crap.

So I asked to use the video camera for the wedding because it was professional and had great quality, and I was thinking because I did them a favor they could return it. They did not let me use the video camera. And I was pissed. This so called “YMA” holy religious muslim group denies ME a video camera?!! I told them,
“Oh okay, that’s fine. God appreciates your sharing with other Muslims.”

Yeah guess what I don’t need to join a dumb group to prove in a good Muslim, I use my actions to show that.
So pissed about that.
WHY IS IT THAT YOU HELP OUT EVERYONE SO MUCH BUT WHEN YOU NEED ONE LITTLE THING NO ONE CAN DO THE SAME?

I don’t know what to do about this site. I wanted to use the skills I learned in my web design class to design the site, but guess what – I didn’t learn much. I’m really not learning much to be honest. I’ve learned little tiny things, but so far, my skills in coding are still disastrous on my own.

It really really really is true – if you want to do something, you have to do it yourself. If you want to get better in graphics, screw school and all the courses, practice on your own. God, what have I learned….

I have to reformat my computer ONCE more because it’s not even as fast as it should be and things are still acting up.
Who still wants to see something happen anyway? Really..

9 comments |

Comments

  1. aw, hey, things’ll get better. just keep your head up, stay positive. i feel the same way. it’s frustrating and irritating. but you can do it! (:
    you’re an amazing designer. this is my number one site i go to every day haha. i’d love to see something new, but have fun with it (:

    jess posted this November 24 * # Reply

  2. Hey Jess,

    :( I hope everything gets better.. and well yeah sometimes people don’t do favors for you even though you did for them but at least its not the other way around… and I would like you to keep updating and working on the site, don’t give it up.. add stuff when u can.. I mean ur graphics are good!! really!

    Anna posted this November 24 * # Reply

  3. every designer goes through this, not being inspired thing I’m going through it now to but you inspire so many people me included, weather you know it or not, I know this might not mean much since we don’t really know eachother that well, but you are supremely talented don’t let school get you down, you only have to do it their way for a little while and then you can do your own thing! and remember those who can’t do teach, ergo, your teachers are morons! lol
    feel better!

    Ashley C. posted this November 25 * # Reply

  4. i wanna see something happen!

    TheOneBoy! posted this November 25 * # Reply

  5. Jess, you are one of the most talented individuals I know, and all of it is shown through your graphics and your writing (blog post). You are creative, and have a great persoanlity. I would hate to see swimchick go down the rut. I’d keep it up, weekly updates are better than none. Even if it’s just 2-3 times a month, we all know how hectic life is. Just keep the site up, and keep on posting. Not only does it help you relieve stress through writing, it helps others relieve stress because sometimes it gives us a little laugh. But do what you have to hun. We will all still love you as an internet bud/pal/friend :) If you ever need help on a new design, or coding issues or what ever I am normally open through email. Just drop me one :)

    Trevor posted this November 25 * # Reply

  6. “WHY IS IT THAT YOU HELP OUT EVERYONE SO MUCH BUT WHEN YOU NEED ONE LITTLE THING NO ONE CAN DO THE SAME?”
    ^^story of my life. :/

    but i still want to see something from you!
    i look up to you so much, and you are a big source of inspiration for me.

    violette posted this November 25 * # Reply

  7. Wow i would have been really pissed. cannot imagine being in your position. I would go like “how dare she? I did everything she want then she turns me down”.

    So man Muslims don’t get this but using a video camera is not forbidden for god sakes! I’m Muslim and I should know that and even people from SAUDI ARABIAN use it!

    They just get the wrong picture, and love to make their own rules. You don’t have to prove anything to them.

    It is so rude that they didn’t tell you. And it kind of happens in the Arabic countries, actually, I think it happens a lot. Why didn’t they at least tell you? So her plan and everything didn’t go well but she wrote she decided on it they SHOULD apologize. stand up for yourself and go to her and tell her.

    Sophia posted this November 25 * # Reply

  8. to be honest, ever since it seems like you went to college swimchick is spiraling down. it got too professional. i miss the cutenews, i miss the messy layouts, and the simple coding. this is all too much.

    sorry about you not getting to use the camera.

    anon posted this November 25 * # Reply

  9. If you can do us all the favor to keep swimchick running, we will return the favor by checking your site every day, simply because you bother to keep it up running for us. And to prove that there is nice people in the world as well.

    Good luck with school and web designing!

    Ammie posted this November 26 * # Reply

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