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swimchick.net » Blogs » Very disappointed

Very disappointed

posted March 11

Okay so I can post a blog asking for a new layout and everyone comments, of course. But a blog about a poor little boy who was hit by a drunk driver doesn’t attract half that attention.
Disappointing.

No no it’s not even about the number of comments here, not at all. It’s about what seems to be important in peoples eyes that visit this site, and what’s not. I’m almost mad…

God I couldn’t even READ a sentence of the story of Abdallah Khader without tearing up and APPARENTLY everyone here just passes along like it’s another filler blog that Jessica writes. I’m starting to get the impression that If it’s not an update of some kind no one is interested.

I think I’m really getting sick of it. Yeah everyone just wants updates right? Why do I even blog anymore? I’ve become the girl who makes stuff for you guys to use.
I think I’ve lost hope.

Back in the day I used to enjoy blogging because everyone used to get involved and it was great to see communication between everyone. But no these days its all about what I can make and how fast it can be put up. Yeah no I don’t think I wanna go down that road.

I guess I was really touched by this story and I wanted to give it some attention and get some feedback. I know the mother (Loubna) wanted to publicize this story and I was trying to help. So if you are one of those people who do care about this, please spread the story of Abdallah wherever….

I appreciate deeply the 8 people who responded to the blog about Abdallah. Really. I am too close to tears even when writing this. My hearts breaks and I’ve never even met this kid. I’ve worked at a daycare so I feel strongly with children…

You know, I think once in a long while you read something that changes your life and this happens to be it for me right now. So excuse me if I’m not like myself for a while. I’m tired of this SHIFT.

This makes me think about me just sitting at 2 am all alone not sleeping making stuff and making tutorials for hours and hours that get like 2 comments that I feel like no one is even using. But then comes along that one person who tells me that they appreciate everything that I do and it makes those 4 hours of tutorial writing worth it.

I won’t be that girl who just makes stuff for everyone. This site won’t turn into that. If you want that you can go to those other resource sites where they charge you for the better resources and they update once a month on how to make a pen icon or something like that.

heh….If I closed this site down right now I don’t even think I would feel bad.

Anyway.
Goodnight. Yeah its 3 am and I’m off to bed. I’m sick as hell…

23 comments |

Comments

  1. Hi Jess. I know that you must be really annoyed etc and I can’t speak for anyone else, only for myself, but I’d just like to say that I enjoy your blogs just as much in fact normally more than your updates. I don’t really have time to do any design or make anything now I’m at uni, but I have an RSS feed to your website, it’s the second on my topsites in Safari and everytime it says there’s a new post, I come and read it, every single one. Even if I don’t comment on every one. I remember when you used to write almost daily about funny stories to do with your family and other crazy things and I used to enjoy those way more than the updates with graphics etc. Saying that however, I probably comment more on the updates because you usually ask our opinion on what we’d prefer etc.

    So please don’t lose hope, it’s impressive enough that SC is still here after so long and altough this sounds a bit sad it has definitely become part of my everyday life and probably hundreds of other peoples’. If a few days go by when I haven’t received a notification saying you’ve posted I start to wonder when you’ll next write a blog or whatever it is. And I’m not even saying you need to update/post more often, certainly not. You do enough as it is. But I’d just like to let you know how much I appreciate and enjoy all that you put into your website.

    :)

    Harriet posted this March 11 * # Reply

  2. Harriet,
    Thank you for this post. It means a lot to me to see this from someone who has stuck with me for so long. You’ve become a daily asset to the site and I love seeing your opinions and feedback on everything. You’re not even a visitor really, more like a friend to me. :)

    Jessicaposted this March 11 // # Reply

  3. Thanks Jess,

    I feel the same, because I’ve been reading your blog for so long it feels like I know you quite well! It’s so strange to be able to know someone 1000s of miles away without ever meeting. Technology eh?! I think I started following SC long before I started commenting. I’m glad I have though, especially seeing that you’ve read my thoughts and appreciated my visits. And I’m sure there are so many others like me who do the same. It’s amazing how many things we read online without commenting or ever really getting involved. Just know they are out there. And I (and many others) will continue to show our support.

    Harriet posted this March 11 * # Reply

  4. Well I would just like to say that I come on here every single day. Because i’m from the UK, I never know what time it is over there, so I don’t know roughly what time you might post, so often i’ll come on here more than once.
    But I never, ever comment. I just don’t. I did feel touched by that story, but I didn’t comment.
    And I love everything you make, but I don’t come on here to read about that stuff. I like reading about your life, looking at photos like the wedding. Again, I don’t comment.
    And there must be hundreds of others like me. So don’t feel bad, kay?

    Kelly posted this March 11 * # Reply

  5. Well, I’m glad to know you enjoy the picture blogs Kelly. I will always be posting more….these blogs are more like a journal to me now.
    Thank you.

    Jessicaposted this March 11 // # Reply

  6. I come here every day. I just don’t comment most of the time, because I never really know what to say. Millions of thoughts are in my head, but it’s just that I’m always afraid that I’m going to say something stupid and embarrass myself somehow. I’ve been visiting this site since 2 or 3 years ago, when I first started graphic designing. I remember when you would always be my inspiration, and I would always use the tuts and resources. But now, I’m not really into graphic designing as much as I did a few years ago, so now I just come here to read the blogs and use the resources if I have to. I don’t really use the RSS feedback, but I did bookmark you. :P You’re the only one, I think. I like reading the tuts for fun, and look at the brushes that you make. Everything you do is amazing. And you’re amazing. There might be hundreds and thousands of other people like me, so please don’t feel bad about this.

    Mindy posted this March 11 * # Reply

  7. your site, honestly, is a permanent fixture on my desktop, not just because yeah theres great resources, and i probably learned everything i know about paint shop on here, but because your blog is interesting to read. maybe some people do just come on here to use the resources you work so hard on, but im sure most enjoy reading your blog like i do, and that most of us do appreciate all the hard work, effort and talent a site like this must take, so dont feel too down? by the way, iv been using your site for such a looong time, and i think this might be the first comment iv ever left you, sorry :)

    Frankie posted this March 11 * # Reply

  8. jess i love reading your blogs and what happened to that little boy is horrible! i come to your site everyday just to read your blog and see if you have a new one up. half the time after reading your blog i get off and get on facebook or something. the people that come here just for content and just demand that you put new content up don’t matter. there are people like me and the others who have commented who come just to read your blog. don’t give up on people like us!

    alex posted this March 11 * # Reply

  9. I love your site and i read the blog about Abdallah and i was very emotional. I never comment anywhere on anything because im a person of few words. I did join the book on facebook, though that may not help any i do what i can.

    Ebony posted this March 11 * # Reply

  10. I must say that I frequently read you blogs, but I rarely comment, I’ve read the blog about Abdallah, but what is there to say? When you make something, people can say thank you, and when you make a new layout and ask us our opinion, we can give it, but with such a horrible story, people often don’t find words that could express their feeling, or the words that could match how horrible this story is. So don’t take everything so personal, or go and judge people, without knowing anything, because it’s easy to say everyone’s just stupid and superficial.

    Nadège posted this March 11 * # Reply

  11. Hey Jess, well I guess I’m kinda like the other people who have commented, I come to the site almost everyday but I only comment sometimes.. and lately I just check the site real quick and sometimes I don’t read.. sorry, I’m just being honest here hehe.. I guess sometimes I just don’t feel like reading :/ idk haha but I hadn’t seen you posted the story about the boy.. I checked the site yesterday morning but I think it wasn’t up yet so I saw it now.. I think more people read your blogs than you think.. just lots of us don’t comment!! but I hope you keep the site going.. & keep writing blogs ;)

    Anna posted this March 11 * # Reply

  12. If it means anything, I’ve been using your site since I started playing neopets. I havent played neopets in 2 years and I’m STILL visiting… I’m sure that must say something!!!! I cant remember exactly when the site started because it was so long ago, but i still visit it almost everyday!

    Ali posted this March 11 * # Reply

  13. I read the story of the little boy when you posted it, but i didnt know what to say
    it was impactful and i agree totally with what you wrote.

    ps. i come on your blog every day and i have it saved in my faves lol
    you are an inspiration and truely helpful on my small path into webdesign :D

    your fan posted this March 11 * # Reply

  14. I hate that you feel this way, Jess. But I know how you feel; used. It’s a horrible feeling, and I really hate that you feel that way because this site is more than half the reason I’m at the point in my graphics where I am today! Your tutorials are amazing, the brushes and textures make my jaw drop, but the person behind them is what counts, and you’re one of the best personal sites out there. It’s not just about the graphical stuff, especially considering that no one told you to make it in the first place. You could’ve just blogged & run off in the beginning, but here you are over FIVE years later, still going strong. I check this site very OCD-ishly and it’s in the feeds thingy on my desktop. Not just for resources, but to read your stories. They crack me up almost everytime (these last two posts are the only two in forever that didn’t have that effect on me). Like Harriet said, it’s a part of a lot of our lives. Please don’t lose hope. I have faith in this site & you.

    That story about Abdullah was touching, heartbreaking, and just horrible. Period, point blank. I know that I wanted to say something, anything. But nothing could put into words what I felt after reading that. I know that sounds like a cheesy excuse, but believe me. All I could say was ‘oh my GOD’ and copy/paste the link to the blog in an IM to my best friend & a couple of my other friends. It is a bit sad that layouts & stuff like that, which are pointless when it comes to a child’s life, are commented like crazy, however maybe others were like me, speechless. This kid is definately in mine and thousands of other prayers tonight, last night, and many nights to come because of you & the facebook group.

    Please don’t lose hope, Jess.
    <3

    Kp posted this March 11 * # Reply

  15. Hey Jess, I just wanna say that I love all the blogs you post. I love reading them, and almost every blog makes me smile/laugh. :) We all really appreciate what you do for us on SC, in fact this is the only blog/tutorial site I come to. I do comment as much as I can, so please don’t feel like no one cares, we do! :)

    Victoria posted this March 11 * # Reply

  16. Hi Jessica. You might not remember me, but I’m the girl who used to run neonscent.com. We used to be affiliates.
    I come here once in a while, and while I don’t need design resources, your blog posts are awesome. Your design resources are part of other factors which jump started my design career. Seriously keep it up!

    I don’t know what to say about the boy… I live in Vancouver, BC, a larger gang base than New York City and Toronto. This is unrelated to gangs, but it’s just heartbreaking that unfortunate things are happen everywhere. I’m Christian, and I do pray for those who are less fortunate or those who have met misfortunes.

    I was a member of your message board once upon a time; start a new one if you have time. ;) (I’d join.)
    Keep on doing this, and don’t stop. You’re doing great things.

    Stay strong.

    Grace posted this March 11 * # Reply

  17. I’ve been coming to your website since I was in Gr.5, now I’m only 15 but it was always, ALWAYS my inspiration and still is. However, to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever commented or ever even thanked you and I’m really sorry.
    Thank you for all that you do for us! You’re so talented, skilled and helped me soo much :)
    Thank you SOSOSO much!

    Summer posted this March 11 * # Reply

  18. Jessica i love your site, i come everyday just to read your blog. and when i read about Abdallah and the freak who did that to him i cried too and joined the group. I greatly appreciate the resources and tutorials you give us, they make us better designers.

    I appologize for not commenting, i wanted to really, just really never know what to exactly to say.

    the drunk driving in St. Louis is just as bad, and i cant watch the news without hearing something about it, and it brings me to tears all the time.

    but seriously! keep up the amazing work! your an insane designer and you should be apprieciated for all that you do. i understand you being dissapointed, i would to.

    again keep up the great work!

    Mikayla posted this March 11 * # Reply

  19. Jess I am sorry you feel that way. Just like Harriet said, I can’t speek for everyone else, butI do like your blogs because they make me laugh (except the one about the little boy), and everytime I come to the site and I see a new blog, I read it and comment about it. And I can understand that you feel this way, it is sad that people find update blogs more important than a true story that could change their lives, but this is how people is. I wish his family the best.

    Rafa posted this March 11 * # Reply

  20. I visit your site every time I see you have a new blog post. I’ve been visiting this ever since I started playing Neopets (this does keep coming back, doesn’t it) when I was around 11…now I’m 16. I’ve since stopped playing Neo, but I still come here.

    Granted, I rarely comment…mostly because, hey, you know your graphics are amazing! :) But I did comment on the one for Abdullah Khader.

    However, I could see why some people wouldn’t. Maybe they couldn’t quite formulate WHAT they wanted to say in a matter so heartbreaking.

    And, in conclusion…we all love you. Yes, that is really creepy.

    Fatima posted this March 11 * # Reply

  21. I visit your site every single day, and read every single blog you post. I don’t use all your resources, but I do enjoy your tutorials. Your blogs are the best part of this site, they’re always funny and I love the way you can tell a story.

    The blog about the little boy was too much for me to handle, I broke down and started crying when I saw the pictures. I prayed that God would take him to Heaven verses making him live and suffer here. He’d be so much happier there. I didn’t comment because I was speechless and very upset. Later, I tried to tell my mom about the little boy and I couldn’t even finish the sentence without crying. So don’t think that no one cares and we’re all just out to use you. Most of us just don’t know how to react to such a horrific thing.

    Brooke posted this March 11 * # Reply

  22. Hey Jessica,

    I felt very emotional last because of the boy. All I wanted to do was cry. It made think about my one year old niece. I enjoy blogs – not just the updates. I guess you update a lot, people expect updates more – but I guess that can be expected. Don’t feel pressured to update for us – do it for yourself! Take a break if you need to :) I know I am. You’ve really changed as a person this past year, and it’s beautiful to see!

    Melissa posted this March 11 * # Reply

  23. Hi Jess, I just found your site last night and I must say I’ve read a few of the entries, I find you to be a very funny and compassionate person which I think is awesome. I like the one about the snow because I too live in Michigan, on the Lake Michigan coast to be exact…it was great and beautiful for a few days then BAM this morning…snow…ugh nasty but hey that’s Mi. for ya. Anyways, I was Really writing about this blog business where no one was caring about the lil boy who was hit by a drunk driver, it hits close to home for me, my sister in law was hit by a drunk driver and killed and so when I see that some people act like they just could care less, it’s very sad to me too. I will be visiting your site often, because I like to read your entries, I love your resources as well, but you seem more down to earth and ‘real’ than any other blogger I’ve read before. Keep up the great work, thanks for all your hard work and awesome talent, and HERE’S TO KEEPING IT REAL!!

    Kristi posted this March 20 * # Reply

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