Visual Of My Block

posted May 20

Living right across the street from an ice cream man has its pros and cons. The cons slightly outweigh the pros by a rainfall of craters. Just estimating.

We live on the worst block in the world. Literally, we should be in a book for this. Let me give you a visualization:

House 1: I am thoroughly convinced this house has been on fire more times than Lisa takes a shower. It’s not that often but trust me, it’s unusual. The ambulance is at our block so much because of this after they ‘save’ lives by throwing a bucket of water over a plant, they come over my house and we make smores.

House 2: If you notice the highschool attendance rate is down, just check this house’s front porch because all those missing students will be there.

House 3: Our infamous neighbors. Their front yard is like their golden child, a fortress of death if you will. Once time a child riding a tricycle fell off his bike and landed on their front yard, and he got yelled at. He was never the same ever again.

House 4: Mine. Would I smack talk my own house? Hell naw.

House 5: Even worst than the parents of their front yard, our right side neighbors are like a boom box that doesn’t have an off switch. Besides being the pit stop for every cop in the country, this house makes sure we never any get sleep by running around like zombie chickens and screaming about things like Justin Bieber. Also, I made little dots to represent all the damn people in that house. One day there’s 1 kid, the next day there are like 50 million. THEY ARE LIKE BACTERIA. They just multiply and you see a new person everyday then the time next you see them is a year later, but with a beard.

House 6: Where the hell do I begin? These people are absolutely crazy. This family lets their little kids run outside and wander the streets – they aren’t really dora explorer here. On top of that, these little old ladies are psycho drivers and literally blast out of their driveway like they’re strapped to a rocketship. Nasa should learn a thing or two here and advance their systems.

House 7: I’m pretty sure these people don’t have a living room because they do EVERYTHING outside on their porch. I think I’m apart of their family now because I’ve witnessed birthday parties, barbeques, marriages, all on their porch. It’s also well lit like it’s a hollywood stage so that kinda helps too.

House 8: If you are late for school or your own wedding, do NOT attempt to leave if you see these people start up their car. They will pretty much be there for 30 minutes just reversing out of their driveway and switching cars back and forth.

House 9: If I could demolish one house on this street or trade it in for a bag of peanuts, this is the house I would choose. See that big orange blob? That is one of our neighbors car. He drives this huge freakin orange van that looks like the mystery van that scooby doo’s gang drives except it’s a lot uglier and Daphne wouldn’t be caught dead driving in it. He has this claim on his parking spot like he has it licensed in his name and the street is engraved under where he parks. If we park in that spot he comes and KNOCKS on our door and asks us to move our car. LOL WTH?! Who does this? Is this guy serious? He needs a REALITY CHECK.
Also, this is the hot spot for Mr Ice cream man, who will back out of his driveway slowly and then 5 seconds later a hoard of kids will run towards it like a scene from Indiana Jones screaming,
EYE SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EYE SCRAM!!!!!

House 10: Normal people, what a shocker.

There you have it. he he hehehehehe.

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